emptiness~

dono how many times i hav dis feelin~felt so empty,like nothin can satisfy me..to be more spesific,it s like u haven done any thing in ur life..or mayb jes like wen u wake up earli in the morning,n u find out tat u don hav to do anything,no nid to do oso,not even doin chores~tat s how i fel..it s not tat i no nid to do chores la,i stil hav THINGS to do,but it s jes tat..the FEELING~
was lyin on my couch,watching "just like heaven',n aft tat d feelin came,dono wat to do liao~ dis s been hauntin me few weeks ade~ since i ve sick of workin,i fel tat everytime m not doin anything~
nah,stop sayin bout dis~~!~!
yea,wen for movie today,"fearless"..it s reli good,luckily i wen to watch it in cinema,jet li's last film~sigh~~..den wen to find wg,she s been tellin me bout her n ch~sigh,den i think der s nothin tat can help her,al i can do s jes listen..dono since when,i hv lost my "talent" in giving advices(mayb i shud not put it in tat way,or mayb i din even good in giving advices,esp in these kind of things,but well..),i dono wat to do to help her,noe she s upset bout tat,but i reli~..sigh
den aft tat i wen to play vb..xueli,tony,kev,joel,yan,jason,n few fellows tat i don reli noe them,it s quite boring in a way, n it s quite fun..it wasnt s fun s las time i can sure~..i reli enjoy playin vb~
fel so lonely some times,n i can fel it frm his eyes oso,i dono y,but i fel like m lost..m not sure tat s dis d life tat i reli want? i used to spend much time in church,tryin to figure out wat's life? n wat m i here for? but u noe,it s "knowledge" in my brain,but i jes can reli understand it~..or mayb der s nothing i can do YET,tat s y~..
n tat's y i ll spend my time bloggin here,wish to get som attention out der,but i don hope tat every1 ll read dis..mayb m jes lonely,aft losin contact wif so many frens (skul frens,church frens,gd frens),n i reli started to fel tat mayb i dono dem tat well,we were jes studied in same skul,spend 5 years together in a borin skul,dat s y we call each other "friend"..hahah,y m i sayin dis?i oso dono le~~~~..

还是用华文吧~

难得想用华文来blog,其实还蛮难的也，ada不要怪我哦，如果真地看不懂，那就加油吧~
明天就是27号了，sebas也应该回来了吧。好想念他哦，太久没见面，有很多很多的东西想要告诉他，也不知道他在那里的生活怎样~好多朋友都读书了，总觉得我们（工作者）和那些已经去读书的有一段距离了，工作的工作，也很少来往了吧，我也蛮想念和ada聊天呢~。。也很久没有和芝三八了~~~。。。
明天就是27号了。延在vincci的最后一天，想想以后的日子，不知要怎样呢~ 面对那个女人，我真的很乏力。还好祥驯兽般的训练他，最近有进步哦~只是有时受不了他那种小姐样~说好要和延放工一起走走，真希望我和他今天的僵局会打破吧~（我还蛮期待的~！）我还真的不知道他在想什么咧，有时候很喜欢和他讲话，但有时候他又静（严肃吧~）到我不敢接近，很期待他的每一个笑容，却觉得~~也没什么酱咯~今天在vincci的气氛怪怪的，静静的，kwan & auntie都没什么说话，我更加不用说拉~希望以后可以跟他们相处融洽，我不想一直当外人~
难得pastor boon会来cs，看到他，我好高兴哦~知道自己不再是一个人了，也能更刚强吧~！想到以后去读书的日子，好茫然哦~加油吧~我也只能自己鼓励自己吧~

as usual~

aiyo,i swear tat i ll change to a better n nicer skin..although dis is the skin of the day in blogskin.com,but hor.. i don reli like it..wel,cos las skin got some error,terpaksa use another skin first..gona check n repair lo~
well,work mornin shift today..as usual,take shoes n serve customer..din hav any fresh news to say..thx to jason,i was wakened up at midnight..he s quite a farni guy..sigh..n as usual,i n yan not same shift..dono y we owas cant get same shift,n so cant go makan together..u noe,he s reli cute,as in,ermm..how to say,i ll fel happy wen i see him..n he s reli farni lo~hhaha..say wei tied up her hair,n tat makes me think of the "say wei" i used to see in SSI,wah,for one month i ve been workin in padini,n i started to miss skul life liao~..
start missin all the frens,every1 depart for their dreams..wat m i doin here? m i wastin my time?hahhaha..
nothin much to say..honestly,i reli dono wat else to say..jes feel free to blog..n hor,i was thinking,mayb i ll blog in chinese one day~ eng s too far frm me..hahha..k la,chaoz~

back from trip..

well,i think it s the las chance for us,we wen pd,melacca,kl,and genting..n we reli hav lots n lots of fun der,i won b able to forget the time we al laugh so loud in starbucks genting (deb was the loudest k? haha),we play heart attack n bx was the slowest,n kenneth s badluck-er,play beach vb and vivian bcam darker in a very short time,walkin along the beach from 830pm til 2++am~!,hearing jokes n iq question from siau huan (although it s very "COLD" la..haha), chatting under the round n bright moon, dance and sing at the beach, help the handsome guy picked bball (n he smiled to me and said thx!haha),wen for supper aat jalan alor (ikan bakar,chao kuey tiao,hao jian..),kena laugh by deb and ed so badly( so sia swei seh..),wen shoppin and bot many things in sg wang,times square and one u,heard the laughing (ken bot short jackets in petaling street) 2 rooms away from my room (can u imagine how they laugh????~~),ed got lost in genting,joggin and walking in genting,sit cable car together,play space shot n we nearly scared out hearts out,q damn long for the sg rejang thing n in the end we cant play,waitin in the damn cold weather for weedher to come but in d end he said he cant come,sitting along the coridor in genting but kena halau,wen to buy mineral water with my dear dear say wei,hav a great sister,lyn and u noe-she s a great gal~!,watchin bx play "ghost haunter" in genting(he very lihai le~~~),the time we play in water world in afamosa with xueli and the rest,cried in the bus til so teruk wen i hug wg and shi hui..to the frens who are reading this,i ll rmb u owas~..

aiyo,forgot wen s d las update..

thx to streamyx for delayin my case,now onli can online..but thx to my com again,dono y sot sot cant scan wireless connection..so now usin my bro's com to online..yea,spm over ade,it sux n i don reli wan to tok bout it,..ll announce the result whether it s gd o bad la..~..but hor,honestly i satisfied lo,even if i got lousy result i oso man yi,cos i ve done my bes,no pressure for me..
m goin trip tomolo,aiya,so ll hav a long time nv update liao..i used to change the skin twice a week..now cant liao la..very hard to get online.. so soli yea..
wen to watch king kong today.. fel so pai seh with him,n tat s not me at all..so soli yea..i noe u won b readin dis tat s y m sayin dis.. n hor,king kong s supre long lor,3 hours seh..n d king kong nv die one,even d dinasourS bite him dono how many times it stil won die..but kena shot jiu injured liao..sigh..so lousy seh,..but the "ann" s reli pretty,go for blonde~~!!hahaha..
k la,i beta slep now b4 i bcom panda tomolo..so wish me luck for the trip..i hop[e everything ll b fine..sob sob..kk chaoz..

my worse days~

wel,first,i jes don wan it happen..i reli don wan to b like dis de~but hor,i reli dono wat s wrong wif me~sigh..first,i slep at 1am,den aft tat is 3am..den getting biasa n biasa,i started slep at 4-5am..den now..i think my time tottally change liao..i slep at 7am..n i even say hi to my bro who s goin to skul in d mornin..wel,i don wan tat d..but my day time = slepin time,but night time i was reli semangat..n normally tat time i ll go study a bit,den go read books abit..but hor,mayb u ll amazed tat i use so much time on study,sure study alot,u are wrong lor..cos mayb bcos com s jes bsid me,n hor,nite time mah~think alot one..so my progress damn slow..normally one day i can finish half subject (wel,i admit las time i can study very fas d.i min las time la.)but hor,for sejarah,i study 2 babs den it s enuf 4 me liao,i was stucked liao.~..sigh,.n hor,i slep late,so normally i ll wake uo at 1-2pm..so i cant c morning sunshine now liao~..sigh>~

i ll hav my bc on thurs,one more day to go..n i decide not to slep today,so mayb tomolo i ll slep earli,den i ll not slep durin exam la..hahah..use my time wisely,study~~study for my petroleum enineerin,for my good result,for me..i jes don wan to regret wen i got tat result.~..jia you add oil to any1 whos takin spm~~kampateh o~

8 requirements to be my bf??

wel,i suddenly rmb xiaoxuan--vp ask me to join aGAME??which doesnt look like a game oso..but..erm,wel,i nv think of it b4..kla,let s start..8 requirements of my bf..let me see...
1.mus noe how to make me laugh lor~~,i prefer cheerful bf..
2.communication btwin each other s very impostant,so he mus b honest to me,n my good good fren..
3.noe how to sayang me wen i nid him the most..(wat's tat??)
4.must hav firm shoulder to let me lean on..
5.i prefer men wif dimples la..look cute?(is tat requirement??no la..).
6.vb player ba..(can play wif me wen my hands itchy mah..),erm,sportsman lo..
7.mus b very understandin lor~~,cos m not understandin enuf lo..
8.wah,finally las liao..outgoin ppl,i don like ppl who owas cope himself at home..mus noe how to PLAY..gahhahah..
kk tat s all..findin one..aft my spm la..hahhah..kk chaoz..

home alone~~..

hahah,dono how many times i open dis website liao,cos i dono wat to write,but fel like bloggin oso..hahah,aiya,my fingers itchy liao mah,my com here tempted me to go open it,n play~~..but miss wai,u nid to study hor~~..
wel,nex week i ll hav my spm exam,1st subject,bc...honestly m not afraid of bc,not bcos im ade gd in it,but i noe i won get A ba,but mayb i can get A2,it s quite imposible to get A1 in johor..well..so i think bc ll b d last subject i start study lor~~..
my family wen to kl liao,shoppin i guess,my sis sure buy alot one,i min my younger sis..she got influenced by me n kexin(my elder sis),like to shoppin..n every time she wen out sure buy clothes one..like s if she scared the clothes ll out of stock like tat..hahha..so m alone,in dis empty house lo..1st time i found tat i hav talent in cookin..so far,i haven eat any awful food cooked by me..hahah.so proud..haha..but i think i beta order pizza,don wan to get stomachache lo~~..
fel so sien man,don fel lyk studyin le>..dono wer to start..alot alot nid to memorise..but if i start memorise bio,later sure forget d..if i start sejarah,nex nex week onli start exam le,shud i start nex week??der s alot mayb n mayb..try very hard to find chances(excuses i shud say..) to pospone my study time..but i tel u,in the end,i sure cant fin studyin one..so sad..but so far,i din even fin one subject..sad hor??sigh..tat s me..aimlessly in studyin but eagerly to get gd result..erm,i think i shud stop crappin here,instead of crappin here,i think i shud action---study~~~!@!.. u noe,learn frm wee jin,LOVE wat u studyin den u won fel bored>>.>..>..>.(wow,it s tat me??nope..)..kk chaoz.tk bye

las days..

although today s ONLY fri,which we al left no much time together wif frens,5 yeas of frens,nwe all reli don bear to leave any1..so we al hav lots of fun,n so sad oso..saw joanna n wg cried,made me fel so touched+sad oso..n i hav the honour to take foto wif bryan n aruna..wah..aruna s goin to UK le..i think i ll mis him ba,he s the most gentleman in ssi..i think la..bryan was so paiseh wen takin foto wif me,aiya,made him so embarassed..kesian ni..
den aft tat i go meet "jolin" yeeling at cs..reli hav a very long time nv go c her ade..she s stil the very gd fren to me,n we ve tok alot n alot..n i owas fel comfortable tokin to her..n i met kaichuan oso,n peilu..hahha..so happy to meet my frens..kaichuan n i go bac perling together.n we chat on the way home..he's quite gd person to tok wif..hahah..now onli i noe,i ve been a suaku for halfyear liao since i move to perling,wah,he said so many places got nice food to eat..n i din wen even one of them..hahah..k la,nex time ask him out to makan..
my family s goin to cameron nex week,3 days le,.but without me..so i ll be left alone at home,3 days le~~~...nvm,ask pris n ed to my house.."study together" mah..but i thinkdey cant come la,every1 stay at home study..~~.. :(
n now dey al wen to makan supper liao..left me again..sigh,nvm,i go study my bio lo~~..kk take care!!bye bye
k la,gtg ade..

las days in skul..sob sob..

wah,e very las week go to skul..mayb dis cud b d very las week i wear uniform to skul(wel,spm doesnt count lar..~~)..yuan ben i reli don fel like goin to skul d..tired+bored to death..but hor,my las days in skullor..mus go c frens,mayb won able to c aft graduate..but i was tooo tired liao..so i nearly slep in clas,though no teahcer..n den wen dey al laughin laughin i can onli sit der n listen to themm...sad seh..
den aft tat wen to cs,go starbux wif bao li..bot mocha..wahhh..nice le~~ i like starbux's mocha..it s d bes..hahha..long time nv tok to her liao..so i hav many stories to tel her..hahah..38 lar~~
den send email to ada lo,type in a very very sleepy state..hahha..nid to go study liao..nites nites

nv provoke gals..

hahah,ya,rujuk to my title..don u even dare to provok gal..hmm..don blilf??go ask jeremy lar..who ask him to provok me,den in d end ask for forgivness som more..hahah..tat guy ar,think tat i reli tat gd to bully,owas suan me,laugh at me,i oso din revenge,now gd lor,make him suffer fer the pass 2 hours in yip's tui..beligood ar u!!hahhaa...n hor~~m not in gd mood hor,u knew,n u dare to do tat to me~~,..kakaka,u deserve it~~hhahah..
n hor..i found out one thing le~~!i fel like xuanhao s so alike to som1,but i stil cant figure it out..but now,i noe liao..he n jiancao very alike le!~not their face look same lar~,but i found tat dey hav common characteristic,very serious wen doin somthing,tok very farni somtimes but nv smile one,very cool n somtimes reli sabai one,very responsible...now i yue4 xiang3 yue xiang4..reli lor..n i hav the chance to sit jiancao's car,s he promise,n "send" me home (acc it s few meters away to my house lar..)..but den sure very excited,although his drivin skil memang -.- //..hahha..
k la,i wana play maple liao..den onli i go fin my kimia..kakka,,take care!!

hmmm..

so many things happen to me,n i reli dono wat to do..so i started to run away,awy to the reality..she s rite,i cant hide forever,at least i must think a way out,n shud not stay in depression any more..things owas won go as i expected..so i might fel depressed,defeated by destiny,but i noe m not alone..at least i still hav my god,n frens who are owas encourage me..i reli dono what shud i do now..thx for those frens who owas sms me n encourage me..i reli appreciated,but i hope i ll win this battle,n in the end,im not the one who i am now..a brand new life..

"No, that trauma you faced was not easy,

And God wept that it hurt you so;

But it was allowed to shape your heart,

So that into his likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason,

You've been formed by the Master's rod,

You are who you are, beloved,

Because there is a God!"

Quoted frm Russell Kelfer

yea,i blif in tat..so jes let Him do wateva He wana do..i won show my sadness in front of anyone,i noe im the onli one in the battle..so i must be brave,full of wisdom to face the storm..and i blif the hands of the Almighty will owas b there for me..thanks..

like this song very mucchh.

yea,like this song,though it s quite sad lar..but i reli can understand e feelinn..nicee..

So here we are We are alone

There's weight on your mind

I wanna know

The truth If this is how you feel

Say it to me If this was ever real

[Chorus:]I want the truth From you

Give me the truth

Even if it hurts me

I want the truth from you

Give me the truth

Even if it hurts me

I want the truth

So this is you You talking to me

You found a million ways to let me down

So I'm not hurt when you're not around

I was blind

But now I see This is how you feel

Say it to me If this was ever real

I know that this will break me

I know that this might make me cry

You gotta say what's on your mind, on your mind

I know that this will hurt me

And break my heart and soul inside

But I don't wanna live this life

I don't care no more, no Just give me the truth

Give me the truth Cuz I don't care no more

din go to skul,AGAIN..

i was bout to go to skul de,den received a msg frm wingee tellin me she s not goin,den i cal shi hui..aft discuss wif her,we 2 oso don wan to go to skul liao..so boring seh..n i acc forgot tat i promis peixin to go jail wif her today!! so soli!!i reli forgot!!..

n den hor,yalo,dono wat m doin at home..wake up at recess time,n play maple,listen soongs.yaya,i noe i ve said i ll stop playin maple d..but hor..reli don fel like studyin yet..i reli haven touched e books yet,..all i can s--die lor..aiseh..den slep awhile,wake up,go down read som books,n comics..sienzzz...i was wonderin,if i wen to skul today,ll it be e same??!!i ll nv noe e ans..sigh..

received ada's mail today,tellin me she reached oz ade..n she mis us very much..2 years ade,she studied in oz,n yet she stil don like der..hmm..mayb tat skul reli tat irritatin gua..i wish i ll leave dis skul s soon s possible,but no sayin bye bye to all my frens,no spm..i jes don like tat SSI..som times make me fel tat it s reli getting wuliao ade..but som times i like der bcos al my frens were der..hhehe..

kla,gtg ade.study study n study..tat s a NORMAL spm student ll do..so ed ar,don keep playin maple ar,lvl 30 onli stop??!!haha,c 1st lar~~who noes u ll RELI stop it anot?/hahah..take care..

din wen to skul..

yaya,i din go to skul today..i woke up,n fel very tired,den i sms my bus uncle,ask him not o fetch me,den sms shi hui ask her help me take notes..hmm..wel,som times i reli dono y MUS i go to skul..but fel very bad la~cos i din go to skul..hmm..n another reason s bcos i dreamt a very very good dream..so i don wan2 wake up,.jes hope tat i won awake n stay in e dream..hahah..but e reality s owas reality lar..one pengajaran,tat was jes a DREAM..so face e reality ba!!/hahha/so wen ada sms me to tel me shes goin bac to oz,i was stil in my bed..n i din noe wat's e content of the sms wen i was reading it..haha../reili hope later i ll study bit lar..spm s comin!spm s comin!but i fel so lazy to study le~~ play play play..sad seh..

another thing..dono shud i celebrate o wat la..i got B fer my bk..tat s gd lar~~n bad oso..i shud hav get A fer my BK..but..lazy me..din finish studyin luke lar..beligood..hahha..good thing s--wen i fin my bk paper,i tot i ll fail..but i got a B..nvm,kambateh,nex time mus b well prepared lo..n hor n hor..hahha..i win kevin,by ONE mark..tat s shiok mah~~hahha..1 mark i lagi shiok a..den i sms to LAUGH him..i tot his bk s OWAS beat me one..but..hahhahha//

kla kla..don crap here liao..NO MORE MAPLIN !! mus control myself liao.one day mus uninstall it..like eejie,although she install it bac..hahahhhaha..mus STOP!!..hahah..take care..chaoz.

hahah..

yea yea,long time nv blog..alots of stories to write..hmm..which first?okok,let s tok bout ada's comin bac to jb..u noe wat?a miracle happen!!her aunt let her to com to my house,although onli fer 3 hours,but finally she came!!..ed came oso,but he bz playin maple in my house,n listen to us chattin..kaka..n den hor,my mum was sick mah,so she cant fetch her bac,but she gav me money to treat ada a dinner,go to YEW's cafe man!!wow,tat cafe reli nice..n tat s my 1st time eatin der since i move to perling..n my mum NEVER buy me dinner in a such nice place..so,no one can deny tat my mum loves ada so much>>den we wen kerry's lo,den fetc her bac home,den onli ed n i go bac..happy tat she s here wif us..n so lucky d jeremy,ada bac here from aust to celebrate his bday man..

yayya..wana wish jeremy happy bday!!although it s on 8th oct..yuan ben we wanted to go a cafe near PO to makan d,his bday mah..treat him lunch lor..but ky cal,n den in e end i hav to OWE him a lunch seh..tat day so unlucky man,..rainin+omega no electric..hmm..i NV said jeremy dai sai arrr..i NEVER SAID TAT..hahahhah

k la,gtg,9.30pm ade..wana do som hw b4 sleep..don wan to b so pathetic again...hahhaha...chaoz..

holiday~~

yaya,today s holiday again..acc holiday n skul day no diff one..in e skul play like hell,din listen to teacher oso,den go kaikai aft skul..holiday oso play like hell..aiya,m i reli goin to sit fer SPM??well,i don look like m ready..n im not oso..so i mux tel myself tat : study la,lazybone!!"..

sigh,tomolo so sien,if tomolo got bio wif sawa,i tel u,i sure ponteng one..hate tat stupid teacher,blac blac heart she has..n m goin to JAIL,wif peixin,don ask me wat crime i ve done,but..hahahah..not farni lar~~..tomolo tuition sommore..lagi sien,all teacher start giv us revision..wah,so much hw to do man~~..

i ve promise myself tat i MUST write bout tat day..i tricked ada..kaka..tat day,wg came my house,so i let her chat wif adda through msn,den i cal her,n tel her m not online,din sign in,wg not in my house,but mayb sombody else s USIN my account..at 1st,she don blif,i--the super actress wif oscar award,made her blif..wen i reveal e truth..wat e ..i think der s no other foul language she can use liao..cos she use them all,n keep screamin..hahahaahaha..so damn farni..it s a very big suprise wg n i gav her..SUPRISE!!hahha..

k gtg ade,wana do som revision man..hahha..tata

Sunday..

ya,today s another sunday to me..sunday..sunday..i kena alot today,but i stil fel happy to c e children runnin around..dey r reli cute man!!..

yeah,tomolo goin to wg's house,den we go swimmin..ask her to spend overnight at my house..hehe..so can chat alot..n we reli hav long time nv chat long long wif her liao..u noe,som times she can b quite 38 de lor~~..

n y m i stil stayin up so late?haha..thanks to the tv..(seems like i ve been "thankin" a lot of thingy-maple,tv..anything can caused me trouble..)hahah..reli happy to let her com my house//

n hor~~e spm s reli gettin near..but yet i stil sittin here postin bloggie..haiya,postin bloggie nothin wrong wif tat..jes tat..how long i ve been sittin here??~~!! =.= //haha..okok,i ll start tomolo la..but i reli hope i can fin pn tan's revision 1st..owe her..i ll stop playin maple la..n hor~ reli hope can get in group A,cos zaleha ll teachin us bm,pn ling-mm,kimia-noreha/faridah,fz-adnan (but NOT HALIMAH,yeah!!)..but my result,sux..so i can onli pray lo..

k la,10.30pm ade..gtg go clean my table.so luan man..~~..chaoz.

wah..my beloved blog..

hehe..long time nv blog ade..thanks to e maple story game..farni hor,..e trials nv stop me bloggin,but e online game did..hmm..tat mins tat i was more addicted to e game la..~~..acc tat game s quite childish..jes tat alot ppl playin..so all e frens can play together..n wen i was a beginner,dey al help me alot..n tat makes me more shu2 wif em..hahaha..
well,dis few days i was fine..my exam jes pass---..n tat make me lagi no mood to study..although SPM s DAMN near man..thx to maple game again~~..n,my maid s goin bac home,so i gona learn cookin b4 my mum ask me to b her guinea pig..(cant blif tat she din cook fer 10 years man..!!)..e skul s ok..super duper good -- al e teachers not teachin..like s if we hv graduate wif super flyin colours..
well,i was chattin wif kim jes now..hmm..she s convent gal fer ur info..i was known as "anti-convent" las time..cos i think i reli haav bias to em..but,honestly speakin,not all convent gals are irritated..noe some of em are very good n frenly...
kk gtg..MAPLE MAPLE lor~~..take care chaoz/

yozz..yea yea,,.so free to change e skin AGAIN!!..haha..enjoyin doin tat..hope can change eery week gua..haha
s usuall..e fz s .....although i got e tips,but i din reli take a lok,so...e paper 2 part2,u noe wat>?i done 2 question./which we r oni suppose to do one ONLY..but..i reli don think my ans can get marks,so at e very las min i go do another one..hope my fz won fail la..
i m suppose to b in tuition class now..don ask me y m stil here..reli don hav moods to go la..som more e kimia class al cancel,no one pei me stay bac,ah mi wen kingsurf,ben din go..so i rather go tomolo's one..o mayb i ll jes skip e clas la..sighs..
k tired ade..wana slep,baru study my sej,,kaka..k chaoz..